I attended a Buddhist lecture last night, which I
wasn’t really looking forward to, but I am so glad I made the effort. It
really switched my mood, I re connected with my higher self, with life, and came
back feeling clearer and able to cope again. I don’t know how long that will
last for but I just live day to day at the moment.
Nutty is in really good form despite all this. But I
am terrified that his cancer is growing sideways, out of his mouth now, but Boyfriend
on a Short Fuse keeps saying it’s better it grows sideways than upwards, which
would make it harder for him to eat and pressurize the roof of his mouth. I
would prefer not to see it growing at all. Oh please let it stay the same! Or
best case scenario, get smaller! Psychic Douser was circumspect. She didn’t
want to upset me and just said `well it’s not got any smaller…..’ her healing
did help him though. After the last session he stopped drinking constantly and
now is drinking normally. So hopefully his little kidneys are working better.
Boyfriend on a Short Fuse very grumpy today. So
different from the early days when we so loved being near each other. I sniffed
one of his old shirts today and flinched at the stink. At one time I loved the
smell of his sweat. I think my phreromes have dried up due to stress. I am
dead from the waist down, my goodness I hope I regenerate again.
But tonight we went out for an early supper to our
favourite place, The Orange, and he was as nice as pie. Amazing the effect good
food has on men. I paid as he has done so much lately, installed the dreaded
IKEA wardrobes, walked the dogs…. really I am so glad to have a partner. But I
suppose I would never have taken on 3 dogs by myself. And the thought of coping
with Nutty’s illness alone would be too much to bear.
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