Monday 18 March 2013

Feeling Hopeful....


February 29 Friday

I am calmer today. The occasional emotional surge when I sob unrestrainedly, but I am feeling more in control and more hopeful that perhaps the Beloved’s cancer might be kept under control, not get worse, or perhaps just spontaneously disappear. With all the powers we have at our disposal , the efforts we are making…. oh surely we can make the impossible possible.

Generally I feel slightly paralyzed. Since the diagnosis I haven’t been very active. Paper work is piling up as I sit at home researching cures and trying to find a country property to rent so Nutty can have fresh air and access to the outside. Tomorrow I will do more, get on top of things.

Thank god I don’t `work’ and can have time at home to (not) get on with everything.

Had a good cranial session with my regular lovely Osteopath Who Won’t Stop Talking, now back from holiday. Although I’ve tried several osteopaths recently, none of them are as good, although I wish he would not constantly talk. But today I was glad for the chat for he is so sympathetic and kind, so full of wise words about dealing with loss.

Earlier I took Nutty out with our 2 rescue Bichon Frises (the Tinies) to the park. I am patient with him as he shuffles along beside me. He is very slow now, but that’s OK. I sat on a bench and chanted for 15 minutes as he lay down beside me, it’s been cold recently but we were warmed a little by the setting sun 

I am enjoying these small moments with him and make the most of all of them.

 

 

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