February 29 Friday
I am calmer today. The occasional
emotional surge when I sob unrestrainedly, but I am feeling more in control and
more hopeful that perhaps the Beloved’s cancer might be kept under control, not
get worse, or perhaps just spontaneously disappear. With all the powers we have
at our disposal , the efforts we are making…. oh surely we can make the
impossible possible.
Generally I feel slightly paralyzed.
Since the diagnosis I haven’t been very active. Paper work is piling up as I
sit at home researching cures and trying to find a country property to rent so
Nutty can have fresh air and access to the outside. Tomorrow I will do more,
get on top of things.
Thank god I don’t `work’ and
can have time at home to (not) get on with everything.
Had a good cranial session
with my regular lovely Osteopath Who Won’t Stop Talking, now back from holiday.
Although I’ve tried several osteopaths recently, none of them are as good,
although I wish he would not constantly talk. But today I was glad for the chat
for he is so sympathetic and kind, so full of wise words about dealing with
loss.
Earlier I took Nutty out with
our 2 rescue Bichon Frises (the Tinies) to the park. I am patient with him as
he shuffles along beside me. He is very slow now, but that’s OK. I sat on a
bench and chanted for 15 minutes as he lay down beside me, it’s been cold
recently but we were warmed a little by the setting sun
I am enjoying these small
moments with him and make the most of all of them.
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